For Just Tonight
by Valairy Scot
Summary: Written in 2006 as an experiment in seeing the same event through two different viewpoints - the event is post-Geonosis and is posted upon request.
1. Chapter 1

**A file from the dregs of history; different POVs, same events, post Geonosis. Written in 2006 I haven't looked at it since but had a request to post it.**

* * *

**For Just Tonight**

**( Siri Tachi's POV)**

"I see you survived." My words sounded tart even to me as I aimed them at him from somewhere behind his left shoulder. Obi-Wan Kenobi turned and regarded me with weary resignation.

"Siri," was all he said as I stood tapping one foot and with my arms crossed. I kept a severe expression on my face, but I feared my relief and joy shone in my eyes.

"Yes," he said simply. We just stood, silently looking at each other. We hadn't seen each other in some time. I knew I hadn't changed much, I was a little older, a little less judgmental and more in love with that big lug than ever. It didn't hurt like it used to; I could admit it to myself once in a while without pain. He, however, seemed to forgotten how we had felt. I was a bit sad, a bit angry, that he could so easily put it away from him as we had agreed to do all those years ago.

Though I was not surprised, I was still shocked at the sight of Obi-Wan. I hadn't been able to join the call to go to Geonosis, but I had been able to make it to the Temple for their return. I knew it had been more than a simple "rescue Obi-Wan" mission; the Order would never have been mobilized on just one Jedi's behalf.

His tunic was cloaked in dust, tattered with many tears and his face looked worn. I could tell he was bone tired, filled with grief and regrets, lost in worry – his eyes were half unfocused and he moved slowly, like he had aged years, like he was hurt – my eyes took in the cloth bandaging his leg, his arm in a hastily improvised sling – he was hurt! I had to stop staring into those beautiful eyes of his.

"You're hurt," I accused, reaching out to touch him. I had this sudden need to reassure myself that he was really in front of me, but I pulled my hand back for I also had a sudden urge to throw my arms around his neck and hug him close. That alone told me how relieved and happy I was to see him.

"Many of us were," he answered mildly. "Many were killed, too. Siri, I've seen plenty of death, even war, before this...but, Geonosis – I'm afraid of what it portends." He looked around him at the hangar, at the Jedi disembarking from transports, some wounded and walking with aid, some carried on gravstretchers. He closed his eyes, breathed deep, and faced me with a grim expression on his face.

"It's war. It was nearly the decimation of the Order; Siri, all of us would have been slaughtered had not Master Yoda arrived when he did, with an army at his back."

"Where's your Padawan?" I suddenly asked, and at the shadow that crossed Obi-Wan's face, I feared his answer. Even with all the gray hairs he was giving Obi-Wan, I knew Obi-Wan cared deeply for the boy and would take it hard if anything happened to him. I remembered how deeply he mourned Qui-Gon's death. Even if no one else knew, I knew how deeply he felt about things.

That perceptive man caught my apprehension and quickly reassured me. "He's alive, but Dooku sliced off one of his arms. Anakin's in the med center for treatment; they say he'll be all right."

"Which is where you should be," I scolded him as he shifted his weight and winced slightly.

"I've been fixed up; I just need some sleep," his words came out slightly slurred. "Even more than food. I'm going to my quarters."

"I'm taking you there, then," I stated firmly. "I don't want to hear of you falling asleep in the middle of the hall on your way there."

"I never," he started to protest, but I clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Shut up, Kenobi." I even surprised myself with how gentle the command sounded, and wrapped an arm around his waist to steady him. He didn't protest, which was in itself startling. "So, you big gundark, feel like filling me in on the details?"

I could feel a sigh of protest tremble on his lips, but he quietly complied, filling me in on his mission, from the attempt on Senator Amidala's life, Kamino, Geonosis, up to their return mere moments ago. He finished just as we reached his quarters.

He slowly lowered himself into the big padded chair he liked to slouch in and leaned his head back with a small sigh. He was already asleep until I jerked off one of his boots. "Hey," he protested drowsily, but I ignored him and pulled off the other one.

"I should really get you into bed," I said severely.

"Siri!" His eyes went wide. Choking on his words, he protested, "you know we can't – "

I threw a pillow into his face. He blinked at me, but he must have seen that I was on the edge of tears. That woke him up as nothing else would have.

"Siri, I'm sorry...," he apologized, blushing furiously and bracing himself for my angry words. I startled him by dropping next to him and wrapping my arms around him.

"I might have lost you!" I whispered fiercely, and leaned my head against his chest. It must have hurt; his chest was bruised from the battle with Jango Fett on Kamino, and the unceasing fighting since then had not helped. My Jedi had been beaten, starved, emotionally battered, and by the Force, he was dead tired, and I just had to hold onto him, even if he did wince a bit.

Obi-Wan protested weakly, "Siri, I thought we agreed..."

"Oh, shut up, Kenobi and put your arms around me," I snarled. He shut up and pulled me against him, leaning his cheek on the top of my head.

"Siri," he tried again, his lips moving against my hair. "This isn't a good idea, we agreed we had to be just friends – "

This time I silenced him with a kiss. As he drew back, startled, I whispered, "I could have lost you, Obi-Wan. I could accept that, if I had to, but I'm so happy I don't have to try. For just a moment, forget about that promise we made. Stop telling me what we shouldn't do and just kiss me!"

He shut up and his lips sought mine in the only kiss we had ever allowed ourselves. Tomorrow, we might regret it, but for now we had this moment. As we pulled apart, Obi-Wan said regretfully, "it might have been better if we had kept our promise – this will make tomorrow and the days after so much harder."

"At least we'll have this to remember," I said softly. "Darn it, you gundark, you make me scared and relieved and so darned – happy, and you're so darned tired you're falling asleep even as you kiss me. I doubt you'll even remember this."

"I'll remember..." Obi-Wan said drowsily. Before he totally fell asleep, I dragged him to his feet and guided him to his room. I merely had to let go and he fell onto the bed, asleep before his head even hit his pillow. He was so exhausted I didn't think he'd remember anything from this evening, so I carefully eased him out of most of his clothes and got his legs up onto the bed.

I have to admit, my eyes lingered a bit over him. He was so darn shy, but he really had no cause to be. No one would ever mistake my Obi-Wan for one of those bulked up hulks, but he had absolutely nothing to be shy about. I felt my face burn at the turn my thoughts were taking, and tucked the covers around him.

He gave a little moan and shivered like he was in the grip of a bad dream. I wanted my Obi-Wan to have good dreams, especially when he had been hurt and needed sleep. I smoothed his hair off his face and he seemed to quiet at the touch of my hand. I hesitated for a moment, and then decided no sacrifice was too much if it calmed my Kenobi – I would sacrifice my future peaceful nights if it kept his nightmares at bay.

I curled up behind him, stroking his hair and chin until he quieted down, then wrapped my arms around him. I would be long gone before he woke.

"Sleep well, my love," I murmured as I burrowed my nose into his shoulder and held him close.

* * *

I woke to the feeling of something shifting against my nose. I froze, my eyes opening wide as I gauged the appropriate response – and found myself staring into bemused blue-gray eyes. Obi-Wan was blinking at me as if he thought he was still dreaming. I flushed; I had meant to leave once I knew he was sleeping peacefully, and now I was caught.

"Well!" I demanded. Nothing like a good attack to avoid playing defense.

"Well," he answered sleepily, and then he suddenly sat upright, eyes wide. "Siri! What are you doing here…" his voice trailed off as he realized both where we were, and how he was dressed, or should I say undressed. He gave a strangled croak and pulled the cover higher to hide his bare chest.

"We didn't...don't tell me...I don't remember..." the poor man sounded panic-stricken. It would have been fun to tease him, but that wouldn't have been very Jedi of me.

I sat up to show that not only was I on top of the covers while he was under them, but that I was fully clothed, even if he was not.

"You sounded like you were reliving the Ten Terrors of Terkania when you fell asleep last night. When I," now how was I going to explain this need to touch him, make sure he was okay, "uh, when I touched you to straighten you out," he might buy that excuse, "you seemed to quiet down. I was only going to stay until I knew you were sleeping peacefully, but then I, too, fell asleep."

"Oh," was all he said, still clutching the covers to his chin.

"You don't have to hide from me, Kenobi," I advised with a grin. "Who do you think got you all tucked in last night? One guess, and it wasn't you." I slid off the bed and straightened my clothes. Before I left, I winked at him.

"You've got absolutely nothing to be ashamed of Kenobi. By the way, for someone who doesn't play around, you sure do know how to kiss a girl."

"In whose dreams?" he asked warily.

So, he had totally forgotten last night. I wish I could, for there was no way for us to ever be together, except one.

I looked forward to my dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

**For Just Tonight**

**(Obi-Wan's POV)**

"I see you survived." Her words sounded tart and came from somewhere behind my left shoulder. I turned and regarded her with weary resignation. I wasn't up for a verbal sparring match with her, not after all I'd just been through, and she greeted me like this. I was tempted to give her a smart answer, just to irritate her, but I was too tired to think of a smart comeback.

"Siri." It was about all I could do, just to say her name. Talk about a sight for sore eyes – just the sight of her was balm for my wounded heart. I couldn't let her know, of course.

We were just friends.

She stood tapping one foot, scowling at me like I had disappointed her, standing with her arms crossed. No, she didn't look at all happy to see me, though if I looked deep I could see the relief and joy in her eyes. I didn't dare look too deep into them for it would be so easy to lose myself in them, or for her to see how my heart leaped at the sight of her. Especially now when I felt so vulnerable. I was in a lot of pain, and little of it was physical.

Ever since that time years ago when we had realized we had deep feelings for each other, and had agreed we had to hide them away, our relationship had been uneasy. She bristled around me and I found myself at a loss for words – I, who was known as the "The Negotiator," never knew how to behave around her or what words to say.

I didn't particularly like that label. "The Negotiator." I don't like labels. They limit what others think of you, as if a person can be summed up so neatly. I prefer negotiations to fighting, but I've been in too many battles and survived not to call myself a capable warrior. I could talk the treasury away from the tight-fisted ruler of Fortress, but I can make Siri angry with one word. And Anakin – there were times I wasn't sure if my padawan totally ignored my attempts to guide him on his path, or if I hadn't the words to reach him.

I was really tired, if those were my thoughts as I looked at the woman I once loved. Still did, if I wanted to be honest with myself.

My mind was meandering, a sure sign that I wasn't far from total collapse. I focused back on the here and now, albeit slowly and I remembered she had made a statement and I was wavering on my feet and all but ignoring her.

"Yes," I said simply. Silver-tongued Kenobi, indeed. As usual, I didn't know what to say to her. I had survived. "Yes" was the easy answer, the only definite answer, and the only one I knew she wouldn't take offense at.

So there we just stood, silently looking at each other. We hadn't seen each other in some time. After all that had happened, the sight of her warmed me as nothing else could. I wished I could just pull her close and cry against her shoulder, but I would find no comfort in her arms.

The way her eyes darkened, I could tell she was hiding her shock at the sight of us, for we all looked battered and beaten, exhausted. I was glad that Siri had been one of the Jedi unable to get to Geonosis. She didn't know first hand what we had experienced and I would be forever grateful for that. I had seen too many friends and colleagues cut down near me and I was so relieved that I wouldn't have to try to accept her death, too.

I looked down, wondering just what about me held her silent. I was dusty and tattered, but most of us were. I was bone tired and hardly coherent. My eyes were half unfocused and I felt like I had all of Master Yoda's years hanging over my all too human body, and humans were never meant to live that many long centuries.

Her eyes dropped and I could see her bite her lip as she seemed to suddenly notice the cloth bandaging my thigh, stained red, and my arm in a hastily improvised sling. I sensed her alarm, and knew she had just now realized I had been hurt. I waited for her scornful remark that I was losing my touch in battle, for anytime she felt vulnerable, her tongue got sharper than normal.

"You're hurt," she accused me, and I illogically wondered if just for a moment she actually thought I had deliberately let it happen to aggravate her personally. She reached out as if to touch me, but she pulled her hand back. For a crazy minute I thought she had had a sudden urge to throw her arms around my neck Now I was rather worried: her tone was actually soft – that meant she was really worried about me, or wasn't at all.

"Many of us were," I said softly. "Many were killed, too. Siri, I've seen plenty of death, even war, before this...but, Geonosis – I'm afraid of what it portends." I looked around the hangar, at those who had survived the arena. The future worried me. I closed my eyes to block the sight, but my mind only returned to Geonosis. That was worse. I turned to face her, knowing my face was grim.

"It's war. It was nearly the decimation of the Order; Siri, all of us would have been slaughtered had not Master Yoda arrived when he did, with an army at his back."

Ignoring my statement, she asked, "Where's your Padawan?"

I flinched, for it was my fault Anakin was hurt. I had failed to protect him as I should, for it was my responsibility as his master. It was true that he hadn't listened to my command that we take Dooku together – he never wanted to listen to my words of caution and it worried me. I knew one day it would not end well; I hoped this was the worst that would ever happen. Still, I worried for him. Listening and obeying were skills I could not teach. They were skills he had to learn.

He was my responsibility, however, and he was lying in a med center, minus an arm. I cared deeply for that boy – as much as he irritated me with his reluctance to heed his training, he amused me – so that I was never quite sure whether I should scold him or laugh at him – too often I did one while hiding the other.

Because he was going to be so strong a Jedi, I wanted him to work on his weaknesses – _self control _my mind whispered – while he, secure in his power, merely wished to work on expanding it. I had expressed my doubts to Yoda, the Council several times, but they assured me they were satisfied with his training, even if I wasn't.

It was doubly my responsibility: I was the one who was captured on Geonosis, I was the one the Jedi had come to rescue and therefore the cause of all the pain and death. Even now, I wasn't sure why the Jedi had been mobilized – my life and possible death were not worth the cost. Perhaps there were reasons I was yet unaware of; I hoped so. Had I died there in the arena, it would have been just I, at least until Anakin and Senator Amidala showed up to share my death.

I realized I hadn't answered her, deep in my regrets as I was, and she probably thought Anakin was one of those not returning. I hurriedly reassured her.

"He's alive, but Dooku sliced off one of his arms. Anakin's in the med center for treatment; they say he'll be all right."

"Which is where you should be," she informed me, watching with narrowed eyes as I shifted my weight to my good leg, wincing with the movement as well as my thoughts. Because Anakin was hurting and in pain, so too, was I. My two wounds were as nothing compared to his, though my leg burned and all I wanted to do was take my weight off it. My shoulder, where Dooku's blade had stabbed into it, throbbed, but with my arm bound to my side it bothered me less than the leg I was forced to walk on until I could sink into a chair and fall asleep.

"I've been fixed up; I just need some sleep." Even to myself, my words came out sounding slightly slurred. "Even more than food. I'm going to my quarters."

"I'm taking you there, then," Siri told me. "I don't want to hear of you falling asleep in the middle of the hall on your way there."

"I never -," I protested, but she clamped a hand over my mouth. I'll never live that down: Anakin had tried a sleep suggestion on me one time when I was exhausted and sitting quietly in a nice, quiet alcove taking a breather from an overly exuberant padawan.

"Shut up, Kenobi!" Without even asking, she wrapped an arm around my waist to steady me. I wanted to protest as much as I wanted to just fall into her arms, but I knew that look in her eyes. Protests would do no good, besides; her arm around me was comforting. I didn't need her comfort, but I wanted it, so I shut up as she commanded.

"So, you big gundark, feel like filling me in on the details?"

A sigh of protest trembled on my lips, but I can't deny Siri anything. I wonder if she knows that, but I quietly shook my head. If she knew, she would have me doing some pretty stupid things, for I can't turn down a challenge or say no to her, whatever the cost to my pride or person.

I filled her in on my mission, from the attempt on Senator Amidala's life, Kamino, Geonosis, up to our return mere moments ago. I finished just as we reached my quarters. I was quite glad to have had her help, for those last few steps were getting harder and harder as my leg complained more and more bitterly about holding me up.

I collapsed more than sat into the big padded chair I like to slouch in and leaned my head back, already asleep.

I half awoke when I felt a yank at my feet. "Hey," I protested drowsily as she pulled off the second of my boots. I had fallen asleep on Siri and hadn't even known she was trying to make me comfortable.

"I should really get you into bed," she said.

"Siri!" I was glad I couldn't see my face. A tiny inner voice from my subconscious was consciously wondering: could she mean…? Of course, we couldn't. Wouldn't. We both knew that. I choked out a protest, "you know we can't –."

She hit me in the face with a pillow. That's my Siri. I blinked at her. It looked like she was on the edge of tears and blushing furiously. That woke me up as nothing else would have. My Siri – tearful? For me? I thought she had forgotten all about our youthful feelings – the ones I buried deep because I never got over her. I never dreamed that she might still feel something for me.

"Siri, I'm sorry...," I apologized, feeling my own face grow warm. I braced myself for her angry words, for we had made a promise years ago. I nearly shot out of my seat when she dropped to the arm of the chair and wrapped her arms around me.

"I might have lost you!" she whispered fiercely, and leaned her head against my chest. It hurt; my chest was bruised from the battle with Jango Fett on Kamino, and the unceasing fighting since then had not helped. I had been involved in hand to hand combat, been shot at, been starved, been deprived of sleep, been enticed to join Dooku, and by the Force, I was dead tired and I had a woman hanging onto me. I winced at her touch, and hoped she wouldn't let go. I'd go through all that again, just to feel her arms around me.

If only things could been different.

"Siri, I thought we agreed..." I tried again, for her closeness was making me a bit breathless and self control wasn't easy to find in my exhaustion.

"Oh, shut up, Kenobi and put your arms around me," she snarled. Since I wanted nothing more, always obeyed her, and was too tired to resist, I shut up and pulled her against me. I leaned my cheek against her silky hair, breathing in her scent. If I wasn't so tired, I'm not sure what I might have tried – at the moment, I felt more male than Jedi.

"Siri," I tried again, moving my lips against her hair. "This isn't a good idea, we agreed we had to be just friends – ."

She silenced me with a kiss. I drew back, startled, as she whispered, "I could have lost you, Obi-Wan. I could accept that, if I had to, but I'm so happy I don't have to try. For just a moment, forget about that promise we made. Stop telling me what we shouldn't do and just kiss me!"

I forgot I was a Jedi. I forgot I was exhausted and hurt. I was a red-blooded male with soft lips to kiss just inches from my own. I shut up and kissed her, savoring the moment. It was our first real kiss, and probably our last. Tomorrow, we might regret it, but for now we had this moment. As we pulled apart, I had to say regretfully, "it might have been better if we had kept our promise – this will make tomorrow and the days after so much harder."

"At least we'll have this to remember," she said softly. "Darn it, you gundark, you make me scared and relieved and so darned – happy, and you're so darned tired you're falling asleep even as you kiss me. I doubt you'll even remember this."

_Hah, you think so, Siri? I'll remember this even if I go senile in my old age._

"I'll remember..." I whispered, even as my eyes fell closed. Before I totally fell asleep, she dragged me to my feet and guided me to my room. I don't really remember even hitting the bed. I vaguely remember her hands easing me out of most of my clothes, but even that barely registered with me. I'm normally a shy guy, always have been, but somehow her hands on me didn't cause me alarm. If I'd been more awake – well, first of all we wouldn't have been in this position in the first place, so this was as good as it was ever going to get.

I dreamed; nightmares. Anakin in pain, dead Jedi – eyes accusing me. Telling me I should have been more careful; that I shouldn't have been captured. I didn't know what pulled me out of them; I dreamed Siri had wrapped her arms around me and was guarding my sleep for me. I could even feel her hand stroking my hair, tracing the lines of my jaw under my beard. I sighed in pleasure and slept with a smile on my face, dreaming of the two of us.

As I slowly awoke, I thought what a realistic dream I had had: Siri and I wrapped in each others arms. So when I actually realized I was actually waking up, with Siri curled about me, I blinked in shock. I couldn't have – we couldn't have – we shouldn't have – why didn't I remember...

"Well!" she demanded.

"Well," I answered sleepily, wondering how to tell her that I didn't remember the night at all and did she expect me to apologize? Thank her? Hide under the covers? That's when I came fully awake, and wondered just where my dream and reality had collided. I bolted upright, eyes wide.

"Siri! What are you doing here…" and I realized I was in bed with Siri's arms about me, her hair disheveled. I think my voice rose a full octave and I snatched the cover higher to hide my bare chest.

"We didn't...don't tell me...I don't remember..." I knew I sounded panic-stricken; I _was_ panic-stricken. We knew we could never give in to our feelings; we both knew being Jedi demanded no less of us.

Siri sat up, eyes dancing like she wanted to tease me, and I could see that she had slept fully clothed at my side and was on top of the covers, while I – I looked under the covers and yelped – I was practically naked underneath them.

"You sounded like you were reliving the Ten Terrors of Terkania when you fell asleep last night." She was more right than she knew: I remembered making it past at least three of them. She explained that she had only tried to quiet my nightmare and then leave once she knew I was sleeping peaceably.

"Oh," I was all I could think to say, still clutching the covers to my chin. I didn't know if I felt relief, or disappointment. Both, I think, though it would have been an awful shame to be oblivious to what we might have done, had we done it.

"You don't have to hide from me, Kenobi," she said, smirking at me. "Who do you think got you all tucked in last night? One guess, and it wasn't you." She slid gracefully off my bed, straightened her clothing and sauntered to the doorway. That's my Siri, all girl and all sass. She turned and winked at me.

"You've got absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, Kenobi. By the way, for someone who doesn't play around, you sure do know how to kiss a girl."

What was she talking about? She had to be teasing me…and then I remembered. That part, at least, had been real – I remembered how warm and soft her body was in my arms, how sweet her lips were against mine. That kiss awoke that old ache in my heart, I didn't regret it, not at all, but it brought back all the old pain and sorrow of giving each other up. What was crueler – to remember, or pretend not to?

"In whose dreams?" I asked. Her eyes dropped, and I knew she thought I didn't remember. It was what I wanted her to think, and yet it hurt to watch. It was easier to pretend none of it had happened.

I ached anyway, for what might have been, in different lives or in a different time. But at least we had our dreams. I slid back down into bed and buried my face in my pillow. To sleep, perchance to dream.


End file.
